Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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