We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
