I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
