I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize