I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
