pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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