but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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