i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize