Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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