..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize