she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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