Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well you can't waste a boner
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
