Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
