its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I understand Curling. That high.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
