you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
