I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
