I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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