how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Slut skills are useful in every country.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
