Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
