loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize