I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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