okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
