Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
