out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
