if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
