The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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