I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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