Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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