No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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