i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
