the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
