Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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