After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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