I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
