Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't think brook has ever known best
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize