I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
