remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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