Got a toothbrush?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
