I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am available for nakedness
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
