so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
