She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
