Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
