hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize