i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
