No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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