do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So much Jack, so little girl.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
