All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
