Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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