I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize