I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
