I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
