i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
