I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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