Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
