Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
