is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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