I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
