I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
