im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
