meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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