I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
