I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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