So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize