She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
